Children's Ministry Outreach

It’s the classic small church dilemma. Kids won’t come to your church if you don’t have an organized and exciting program, but you cant’ have an organized, exciting program without kids/

As a friend and I bemoaned the lack of children in our mutual congregations, she told me the district superintendent of her Methodist area reassured the congregation, “It’s not you. It’s everywhere.” Children’s ministry programs in churches across our country are facing the challenge of puny attendance . Yet, I believe to the bottom of my toes that children’s ministry is important, that it’s the church’s responsibility to ground the youngest generation in the principles and content of the Bible. So what is a church to do?

A church has several options:

1. Shame the kids into coming. This is the old works mentality that so many young people resisted in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s. Churches made you feel guilty if you weren’t there every time the doors were open. We were actively taught that church attendance was more important than ball games, vacations or anything else. I still remember being chewed out by a church elder because I went on a rescheduled March of Dimes Walk-a-thon on a Sunday morning instead of going to church. I made it for Sunday School but I should have been there for church too.

We recoil at this approach, but now that I’m on the other side of the generation gap, I can appreciate my elder’s frustration. How do we get our kids – and their parents – to choose God above the activities of our culture? I look back and realize that kids in my generation were far better grounded in our knowledge of Bible content and our memorization of Scripture. I know my Bible as well as I do because I was there practically every Sunday. Is there a softer approach instead of the wagging finger?

2. Make it fun. This is the other extreme of the shame game. Many children’s ministry workers believe we need to compete with our media driven society in order to make children’s ministry attractive. Otherwise, we will appear boring and lost in the 20th century. So we provide fast paced DVD programs, environment driven VBS programs, sensational outings, exciting games, bible related snacks and not-too-heavy content.

As a curriculum writer, I love the games and activities. I know that not every child learns through print media. So many kids struggle with reading skills that expecting them to read from the Bible becomes a futile activity. Yet I see something happening I’ve mentioned in this blog before. So much of the available curriculum is watered down in favor of the fun approach. The material I’m currently using does little to teach bible content and the application is shallow at best. How am I going to teach my kids character skills and heart changes? We need to go beyond “Jesus loves you.” We need to teach kids to love Jesus in return and what it means to love Jesus. We need to help them hide the word of God in their hearts while their brains are supple and can easily retain information.

Yet how many youth workers have you heard complain that they only seem to get a big crowd when there is food or fun? We’ve created our own monster. Then, we experience what happened to our youth intern last Sunday. She spent hours putting together a cool outdoor activity. Only three kids came; and two of those left after an hour to go to a graduation party of someone the kids hardly knew. So . . . .

3. If they won’t come to you, go to them. This is the approach the Salvation Army has taken in their Sonday’sCool program. Instead of using the traditional Sunday School model, they provide programs in people’s homes, after school outreach in day care centers and supper clubs to tired families with working parents. Remember the old Backyard Bible Clubs? Why not go to a playground with a card table and sack of supplies under your arm and set up an instant children’s ministry hour? Okay, I know there’s all kinds of fear and trepidation. Should you ask the parents’ permission? Will people think you are a predator trying to entice the children? Don’t dismiss this idea just because of the drawbacks. Work through them and find solutions. Remember, our goal is to teach children about Jesus, not have a consistent number on our attendance board at the church building.

If you have a lot of children busy with other activities, go to those activities. Attend their softball games. Go to their school plays. Pray before you go and ask God to give you divine opportunities to slip in words about Him. Moreover . . .

4. Go where God is leading you and do what you can with what you have. This is a principle I’ve learned from Henry Blackaby’s book, Experiencing God. We need to see where God is working and move in that direction. Yes, I think our church needs a thriving children’s ministry. Yes, I’m doing all I can to make it happen. But it’s not growing. So, each day I ask the Lord to direct me where He wants me to go, even if it doesn’t make sense to me, then I do what He calls me to do. Right now, God has called me to organize meals for a medically needy family once a week. I have no clue what heavenly value this obedience will have. But there are two teenagers in the house and only God knows the impact our church’s weekly meals will have on the memories of those two young people. Also . . .

5. Reach the parents. If the parents are convinced that church is where they need to be, the kids will be there. This is is the long term approach that might take years. You need to start by building friendships, being there for the parents when they have crises, holding bible studies or supper clubs in your home, taking time to talk over the fence, letting your light shine for Jesus and living in such a godly way that parents will want what you have. When they come, their children will come too. Finally . . .

5. Pray. Some of us plant, others water, but only God brings the growth. Ask the Lord of the harvest to send workers into the harvest fields. Ask the Lord to bring children into your life that you can influence for Him. And ask Him to give you courage to step in the direction He invites you to take no matter how uncomfortable or strange that direction might feel.

May the Lord add the little ones to His Kingdom!

One Nation Under God

Have you received one of those emails that quote 2 Chronicles 7:14 at the top of the post? I don’t have one in front of me because, after reading it the first time, I quickly deleted any duplicate copies. Besides, these emails distress me. The originator of the email meant well and is on the right path. Citizens of the United States do need to pray for our nation. Yet using this Scripture as a proof text for praying for our nation’s success is misleading and short-sighted, I believe. Here’s why:

Posts like the current one that is circulating insinuate that the United States of America is a privileged, blessed people. “If my people who are called by my name” refers to the Old Testament nation of Israel. Today, it refers to Christians, no matter what nationality. I remember the beautiful feeling I had when I sat in a circle in Vienna Austria with believers from all over the world. The comment was made that we were not citizens of the United States, Bulgaria, Poland and so forth. We were citizens of one kingdom, the Kingdom of God and thus, equal in the sight of God. 2 Chronicles 7:14 is addressed to God-believers no matter what nation, no matter what foundation of faith their nation has been built upon. The United States of America does not have the corner market on faith in Jesus Christ, nor does God view us as any better than believers in any other country.

These posts also emphasize one part and maybe two of God’s conditions. We jump to the phrase “pray.” We take a passing glance at the phrase “humble themselves” since praying does take a certain amount of humility. Asking God for His help and blessing admits that I cannot do it on my own, that I need God to succeed. That is a good thing. Prayer and humility go hand in hand.

Yet, we stop there. We ignore the next two phrases, “seek My Face” and “turn from their wicked ways.” “Seek My face” means more than just “getting to know you” as Debra Carr sings in “The King and I.” The phrase, “seek My face” biblically means to earnestly look for ways to please God. This definition is confirmed by the next phrase in 2 Chronicles 7:14, “turn from their wicked ways.”

Our nation will not be blessed by God until we individually and corporately seek the face of God and turn from our wicked ways. I’m not even going to get into finger pointing and discussing how our government and culture has strayed far from the ways of God. I’m concerned about individual Christians. Remember who “my people” are! Too many American Christians are like the Israelites in the prophet Elijah’s time. We’ve got one foot on God’s side and the other foot kneeling toward the Baals of our culture. We need to make a choice. Who will we serve, wholeheartedly, unswervingly? We need to ask God to search our hearts to see if there is any wicked way in us and seek His guidance toward the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23,24).

If we do this, our culture will change. If we are willing to stand up for our faith, in all facets of our lives, the world will sit up and take notice. At first, we may suffer the slings and arrows of an outraged media. But soon, if we live consistently, we will begin to have impact on our culture and corporately, our nation will turn and start the uphill climb back toward God. I truly believe that many Christians are ridiculed because they say one thing about Jesus and do another.

The change will start with our children They’ll learn from our example of what is important to us. They’ll learn to make wise choices, to seek God, to turn away from wickedness. They’ll put God first above ball games, relationships, Nintendo, and addictions because they see Mom, Dad and Teacher living what they believe.

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord (Psalm 33:12)” is printed on a t-shirt I recently bought. Let each one of us do our part to show our children and the rest of our culture that God comes first in our lives – above all else. Then our nation will be blessed.

Teaching Children the Concept of Grace

I have a confession to make. When I was in third grade, I committed a terrible crime. This is one of those secret sins, that if I was ever nominated for a high ranking government position, the Special Counsel to the President, the Senate Ethics Committee and the drive-by media would all uncover my atrocity. CNBC might even make a reality show portraying my wayward youth.

My crime?

I tore a math book.

I knew it was bad. And my fears were confirmed when Maria, the little girl next to me gasped and said, “Oooohhhh, are you in trouble now!”

She was right. I knew she was right. Hadn’t Mrs. Jackson stood in front of the blackboard at the beginning of the school year, lecturing us on the care of our textbooks promising gloom and doom and destruction if we dared to treat these hallowed tomes carelessly? I would have to pay for it. How many weekly allowances of thirty cents would it take to pay for this monstrosity of a book? What if my parents found out? Then I’d be in trouble both at home and at school.

My third grade mind feared the worst. If I hid my secret sin, it would be found out, for my book had a number on the inside front cover and Mrs. Jackson surely would check the numbers against our names in her role book at the end of the year. Besides, having an overactive conscience even in third grade, I couldn’t live with my misdeed. Especially since Maria knew.

So with tears streaming down my face, I took the torn book to Mrs. Jackson’s desk and lay the damning evidence before her. And she took out . . . .

. . . . her scotch tape.

With one deft movement, she whipped off a piece, attached it to the two torn pieces, smoothed it down, closed the book, gave it back to me and hugged me. “There. It’s all right now,” she said with a reassuring smile.

I think Maria was actually disappointed. I could read her thoughts behind the scowl on her face. It’s not fair.

No. It wasn’t fair. It was grace.

For you see, grace is not getting what we deserve. I deserved punishment. I deserved to pay for my carelessness. But I didn’t get it. I got grace instead.

That moment in third grade was my first illustration of the concept of grace. Later on, I would hear grace described in youth group as God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense, and unmerited favor. But the best definition for me was a piece of scotch tape and a reassuring smile. “It’s all right now.”

Our children will best learn the concept behind God’s grace when we model it for them, when we dare to give them what they don’t deserve and to withhold what they do deserve. Yes, children still need to learn discipline, responsibility, and consequences of their actions. But once in awhile, when we know they know they deserve the fulfillment of the consequences of the rules we’ve established, it’s good to extend grace to them. Then we can explain, “That’s what God did for you when He allowed Jesus to die on the cross.’ Jesus paid for the torn pieces of our lives, for the rips and tears we’ve inflected on others. He used his own blood to seal the pieces of our lives together, so we might stand whole again before a holy, righteous God.

How can you show grace to a child this week? It doesn’t take much. It can be as simple as a piece of scotch tape.

Childhood Bullies: What The Church Can Do

Childhood bullies still roam the halls and playgrounds of our schools. Human nature, being what it is, will always desire the thrill of power, one-up-man-ship, the need to be top-dog, a craving for control. At the core, that is what sin is – wanting ME to be in charge rather than God. The drive for power is more of a temptation for some than others. Children who are victimized from abuse, divorce, neglect or other bullies will often fight against their feelings of helpless and being out-of-control by seeking to find power elsewhere – in the form of bullying.

The good news is that schools no longer tolerate one child intimidating another child. In-service training in child abuse, mental illness and bullying is required for all teachers in the state of Ohio. Furthermore, schools across the country are finding that when character education is taught in school, incidences of bullying and violencegoes down and test scores go up.

Character education! What a novel idea! It’s what the church has been trying to do for years! Yet I see a dangerous trend in church curriculum that leaves us bypassing this important thrust of what the church ought to be doing. More and more, I see content focusing on what God does rather than what our responsibility is to God and our neighbor. Look at the one sentence description of lessons in this summer’s selection of VBS packets. Many of them tell the children such things as “God loves you,” “God cares for you,” or “God protects you.” I like one particular company’s theme because each daily thrust is something the child can do – “Go Lead,” “Go obey.” It’s tangible. It’s applicable.

I’m not saying instruction about the nature of God is not important! We need a balance of both. Because of the vacuum left when the church and the home don’t do their job, the schools have had to insert character education into an already full schedule. Yet the church is the expert on character or moral education. There’s one big reason we ought to be the ones teaching this stuff. We hold the reason why! Why be kind? Why be responsible? Why respect others instead of attempting to rule others? Because God says so. Because God is the one ultimately in charge. Because God has been kind to us. Because God, ruler of the universe, has set certain rules or guidelines for mankind to follow and frankly, He’s got a better idea.

I applaud the Ohio character education curriculum. They acknowledge that public schools are not the exclusive teachers of character education. They freely admit that children need to hear how to treat others from the home and from religious and community organizations.

Let’s step up to the challenge. Let’s redouble our efforts to ground our kids in righteous behavior. Yes, we need to teach them who God is and how Jesus died for them, but we also need to teach them the “so-what?” response. We need to teach them and show them how to live godly lives. When we have troubled youths come to our programs, we need to have the courage to have a no-tolerance policy regarding teasing, hitting, intimidation and other demeaning behavior. The church, of all places, needs to become a safe haven.

We also need to listen to our kids. What is happening in school, at home, on the ball field? We need to give our students the tools they need to cope with life in the real world. The “nice” kids are often targets of bullies because they won’t fight back. I think we need to teach our young people how to stand up to evil without giving in to the same kind of behavior used against them. If you aren’t supposed to hit back, what do you do? How does a Christian respond to bullying? So, along with teaching our children how to act, we need to teach them how to respond when others don’t act in the way they’ve been taught.

So, where do we start? Look at the lesson you are teaching for next Sunday. After teaching that lesson, what change in behavior do you hope to see in your students? Think about your session last Sunday. What behaviors were expressed that need some work and some change? How are you going to help your kids build their character? Sometimes you can include teaching in a lesson; other times, it’s a matter of coming along side a child and saying, “Hey, we can behave in a different way.”

Sadly, last week, a newscaster castigated our society for becoming a “culture of ridicule.” Let’s work with the schools and parents to reverse that trend. Let’s bring up a generation of young people who treat each other with respect and kindness.

Childhood Bullies: Part Three

Children are these sweet little angels who make us smile with delight. Their eager curiosity charms us with their innocence. I don’t know about you but I feel deep hurt when I see one child bully another child. I want to grab them and ask with anguish, “Where did you learn to be so mean so young?”

A bully is made, not born. Bullying is all about power, the desire to redistribute the wealth of power. If a child is bullying other children, it is most likely that that child is feeling powerless in another area of his life or that he has learned that certain behaviors will make him top dog.

By using the pronoun “he,” I don’t mean to insinuate that all bullies are boys. Bullying can come in the form of physical – pushing, hitting, fighting – or relational such as rumors, intimidation, verbal cut-downs. Boys are likely to be more physical while girls will often take the more indirect approach.

How do you know if you have a bully on your hands? A bully has often been bullied, shamed or humiliated himself or experienced violence, abuse or aggression from another source such as at home. The child may live in an environment where people solve problems by violence, intimidation or manipulation. Remember, bullying comes from a need to redistribute power, to feel on top. The final source of bullying tendencies is the media. Are you surprised?

Many public schools now have a no tolerance policy in regard to bullying. The state of Ohio requires all teachers to receive training in identifying bullies and victims. As Kay Pomeski, principal at the Sandy Valley Elementary School said, “Bullying is not a mediation issue. It needs to be confronted and stopped.” Pomeski explains that wagging a finger in the face of a bully, telling him to stop, is not enough. Then the teacher becomes the bully in the child’s eyes. The core issue needs to be discovered – why is the child bullying? It’s a two pronged approach. The bully needs help in learning why he is behaving in a certain way. He also needs to know in no uncertain terms that this behavior is unacceptable and he cannot hurt the victim any more. This is not easy, for every bullying situation is different.

I’m glad to see schools invoke actual policies about bullying. What about the church? Does your church have a policy regarding bullies? Does bullying happen in your church? How can we teach kids so we prevent bullying behavior? After the home, the church should be the place where we teach kids how to treat others. Unlike the school, we have the opportunity to put our character education against the backdrop of the Bible. Schools may be teaching kids the “how” of behavior; we can teach them the “why” of correct behavior. We can also help the victims know how to cope when they are picked on. I’ll discuss that in next week’s blog.

Childhood Bullies: Part Two

As parents, we send our children off to school with a few tears and a few more worries. Will they succeed academically? Will they make friends? Will they choose the right kind of friends? Will they avoid the pitfalls of youth? If there are special needs, will the school manage the IEP adequately to help our children overcome the obstacles they face?

I don’t know about you but how other children would treat my girls never entered my head. My girls are nice girls, what is there not to like? As behind the scenes reports of the insidious shooting sprees at Columbine High School and Virginia Tech University over the last decade described the perpetrators as “loners,” students who had been at the mercy of teasing and ridicule, I never dreamed that my children could also be victims of school bullying. I don’t know why I didn’t think that through. After all, I was teased as a child about my thick glasses, teasing demeaning enough to have a lasting impact on me. I figured schools’ attitudes had changed over the last twenty years and the policy of “handle it yourself and don’t tattle” was archaic and obsolete.

Schools have become more tough on bullying, reaching a zero tolerance policy. Yet teasing, bullying and ridicule still happens. Next week, I hope to share an interview with a local school official whom I’m confident will give some terrific insight into why bullying happens and what the schools are doing about it.

I’m finding out I’m not the only parent who can be clueless as to what is happening at school or on the playground. Here are some things a parent can do to discover if their child is the object of school bullying.

1. Listen and take seriously when your child complains of unfair treatment from a fellow classmate. While the lone incident may seem minor, your child may be sending out a test line to see how you react. Ask if this has happened before. Ask if the other child is usually his friend. Ask how the other child treats other children. Don’t be timid to contact the teacher and ask the teacher to observe interactions between your child and the other child for a few days.

2. Look for warning signs. Is your child withdrawing? Is there a major shift in behavior? This should have been our warning sign. When we moved from Kansas to North Carolina, my happy-go-lucky daughter suddenly became reserved and somber. I thought it was just the difficulty of moving from a small rural school to a large multicultural urban school. Only years later did I find out bullying was happening as well.

Is your child hesitant to be involved with other children? Is your child aggressive and “bullying” others himself? This actually may be a rebound from bullying he has received; as a child, he doesn’t have the coping skills to know how to respond, so he lashes out.

3. Be aware of potential bullying triggers. If your child moves to a new school, he or she will be more of a target, simply because they are new. My daughter was picked on in fifth grade because she attended a school in a rich neighborhood and didn’t wear the latest fashions. If your child has no friends, bullying may be more likely to occur because your child is seen as a social outcast. If your child is different in any way – handicap, social/economic status, a child of integrity or one who doesn’t cuss like the other kids – bullying and teasing is more likely to occur.

I hope to share with you next week from my interview what parents can do to help their child not be a victim of bullying. I also want to share how you can work with the school your child attends to stop the bullying.

Each child is precious in the sight of God. Each of us, our children included, are made in the image of God. Everyone, no matter who they are, deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. Let’s teach our children to lift others up instead of tearing them down. Yet we live in a fallen world where there will always be nasty people in our lives. Let’s also help our children kept their eyes on Jesus for, after all, Jesus’ opinion of them is the only one that counts.

Childhood Bullies: Part One

What will get me steamed more than anything else Inside the Classroom? When I see a bully in action. When I hear kids tease each other. When I hear kids ridicule another’s opinion, abilities, decisions or interests. When kids in my high school class recently made fun of a boy for dropping out of college on his first day, I felt sick to my stomach. He was humiliated enough – why did they have to rub it in? How awful to be branded as a loser! If a kid dares to say something derogatory about another kid in my class, very quickly, he is very sorry he bothered to open his mouth. I’m so glad to see school instilling zero tolerance policies for bullying. Gone are the days, I hope, that most teachers scold the victim for being a tattletale, tell them to settle it themselves, then turn their backs. A zero tolerance policy has been needed for a long time.

I know how it feels. I was the kid who got picked last for class ball teams. I was called “ugly” and “four eyes.” Because of my Coke-bottle bottom glasses, I was given the distinct impression that no boy would ever want to go out with me.

Kids can be cruel. And, in spite of how much we say kids are resilient, those kind of wounds last a lifetime – unless God heals them. I’ll talk about how God healed me in another post. Have you noticed that we don’t hear the adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” anymore? It was a nice cover up to smart back to the bullies because under no circumstances did we want to appear weak and let the bully know how much it really did hurt.

Yet, with experience, I’ve also realized that being a bully doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Bullies aren’t bullies just because they are made to be mean. A kid has the drive to bully others because he or she needs to feel superior – perhaps because he or she feels inferior in another venue of life. The slogan I’ve come to appreciate is this: “hurting people hurt others.”

I want to look at this topic from several different perspectives over the next few posts. I want to suggest classroom management for handling the bully in your class. I want to suggest ways to help the victim cope. And I want to discuss how children’s ministry workers can teach respect and kindness as a way of preventing the careless insensitive comments kids make to each other. While we’re in the middle of this series, I would appreciate your comments and feedback. How do you discipline a bully? How do you help the victim? How do you keep a victim from becoming a bully himself? What curriculum have you used to teach respect for others? How have you dug to the root issue in a bully’s life? Email me your input at karenawingate@gmail.com.

Children's Ministry and Discouragement

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." - 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NIV)

He was always getting into fights at school. Sunday School lessons on kindness and forgiveness were beyond him. “It’s not right to hit others,” we told him. “He started it,” was always his excuse. Slowly, we saw his heart soften. He began asking more questions about Jesus. We saw him on the brink of making a decision for Christ, then he backed off. “I’m not ready,” he said. “He’s not ready,” he said. Soon after, the boy moved to Florida to live with his dad. Surprisingly, the grandmother told me, his was thriving and doing well. Still, I felt my co-workers and I had failed. We had not seen him through to a saving knowledge of Jesus.

"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. – 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NKJV)"

They came with two car loads of street kids, kids from broken homes, kids with hard exteriors, kids who didn’t even know their hearts were broken. One came to the Lord yet was stubborn to change his way of life. The others thought church was a game, a time to text message each other, eat food, throw pillows and sit next to girl friends in my Sunday School class. After a year, the youth leaders left, taking both car loads of kids with them. I felt I had failed. Did anything I taught them manage to stick to their souls?

"So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless. – 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NLT)"

Last night, Bill O’Riley, on The O’Riley Factor, quoted James Dobson, former CEO of Focus on the Family, who said, regarding the culture wars on the American family,“"We are awash in evil and the battle is still to be waged. We are right now in the most discouraging period of that long conflict (quoted from the Washington Monthly). Humanly speaking, we can say we have lost all those battles." O’Riley respectfully disagreed – there are still many in America who hold traditional values, he said. I add another reason why the battle is not lost:

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NIV)"

As Children’s Ministry workers, we never know how long we will be blessed by the presence of one child. They may come one week, never to darken our door again. They may come sporadically, or come faithfully for several years, only, one day, to come no more. Each session, we stand firm on the truth of God’s word. Each week, we give ourselves fully to the work God has given us to do. Each time, we stay faithful to God’s calling, confident that God will make sure, even if we never know, that our work will not be pointless. In ways only He can orchestrate, God will print our words to the pages of the lives around us and use our words and deeds to someday convict others of their need for the Savior.

I like Dobson’s conclusion which O'Reilly failed to pick up on: : “ . . . but God is in control and we are not going to give up now, right?”

Right.

Creative Classroom Expressions About Easter
April 5, 2009

I’m a big proponent of interactive learning, where the teacher gets the students involved in the learning process. It’s the kind of learning my 4-H motto from years ago described as “Learn by Doing.” Long gone are the days where kids sit dutifully before a teacher who spoke words of wisdom, confident something was oozing into the little brains between the wiggles. Now, kids actively participate in hands on learning and discovery.

I’m learning to become an interactive teacher. It would be so easy to study my lesson and let the words of the curriculum ooze into the pores of my tired brain so I could then repeat them by rote to my dutiful students. I’m a better teacher when I practice what I preach and learn to do something in my own life with the material I’m teaching.

Today, I decided to give my junior church students an overview of the week before Jesus’ Resurrection. We wrote out the days of the week from Sunday to Sunday, then lay them on the floor. We stepped on each paper and talked about what happened on each day of Holy Week. We played a game so we could name ways to praise God for Palm Sunday. I gave them each a journal for this week, so each day, they could draw pictures or write about their responses to this special week. Then we started the project I spoke of several weeks ago in this column. We started to create art work of things in this world that remind us of Christ’s Resurrection.

I came home pondering what I had taught. How would I express my wonder at the miracle of this Holy Week? I’m by no means an artist so I won’t drive anyone to tears of frustration over my feeble artistic attempts. I don’t claim to be a very good poet either, but I do want to share with you my creative expression of how I feel about this week.

###

HOLY WEEK

On Sunday, they sang;
On Monday, they swang
To a different opinion of Jesus,
The one to redeem them from their sin.

For two days, He taught;
For two days, they sought
To find a way they could still
The voice of salvation to all men.

On Thursday, He broke the bread;
On Friday, He broke His body,
So his blood could remove
The stain of our errant ways.

On Friday, He died;
On Saturday, his disciples cried
So wretchedly for the one
They thought would restore their land.

On Sunday, He rose;
From then on, they chose
Whether to believe the gift of Love
Enabling them to stand
Before God, spotless and pure
For the rest of their days

And Eternity.

###

Now it’s your turn. How can you express your reaction to what Jesus did for you during this Holy Week?

Have a blessed week!

Let The Children Run

As my husband and I were returning from Arizona after my grandfather’s memorial service, we had a two-hour layover in Phoenix before the next leg of our journey. Knowing we would be sitting for the next four hours, we struck out for a brisk walk along the concourses. Trailing the moving sidewalk, we saw a dark haired boy who must have not been a day over three-years-old running along the moving sidewalk, his mom laden with baggage slowly ambling behind. He was running as hard and as fast as he could! I involuntarily sucked in my breath when he reached the end of the sidewalk, knowing how I always catch myself as the movement disappears into a solid step. Not this kid. He leaped over the edge, threw his hands in the air, and shouted, “Yaaaayyy!”

I commented to my husband, “Wouldn’t it be nice if the most exciting thing in your life right now was running along a moving sidewalk at an airport?’ I guess I was in a nostalgic mood anyway. I had spent the week with family, getting teary over family pictures, reminiscing about my grandfather and the precious moments we had shared over the years and enjoying multiple meals of food and memories as we did what our family always did – ate too much at our favorite Mexican restaurants.

Still, that little boy’s exuberance was the perfect exclamation point to the paragraph about life God had been teaching me all week. Enjoy the simple pleasures. Grasp each moment and celebrate. Run the journey with purpose yet abandon, then throw your arms up in a victory salute at the end of the sidewalk.

That wonderful mom taught me something too. I remember when my girls were little and we lived in a tiny, isolated town in Kansas, we had to drive an hour just to get anything more than basic groceries. One day, we took them to the mall and let them ride the escalators up and down because the girls were bursting with energy from begin cooped up in the car. Someone, maybe an employee, scolded me for allowing the girls to ride the escalators without purpose and without me right beside them. “They might get hurt.”

Yeah, well, so they might. So might that little boy running on that moving sidewalk. So might I when I take risks through my life. But that wise mom, knowing her child was going to be cooped up in an unrelenting airplane all too soon, wisely let him take the risk, confident that she was close enough to be there should he fall yet far enough away to let him be free to run, to fall and to learn to not fall again.

We need to savor the simple moments, relish our relationships and run the risk of falling and failing, confident that the painful moments, though unpleasant, will teach us and equip us on how to handle the next moment of life.

Karen Wingate's Current Projects

Grab a cup of your favorite brew and let’s do some catch-up. Let me fill you in on what I am currently doing in Children’s Ministry and in curriculum writing.

Right now, I’m taking a much needed indefinite sabbatical from teaching Sunday School. It’s been at least six years since I have had a break and I am already appreciating the chance to recharge my spiritual batteries. I’m still teaching in our children’s church program. We’ve done something different the last few months. Using Standard Publishing’s Anytime VBS program, we’ve spread each lesson over two Sundays. Each Sunday we tell the story in a different way. The first Sunday we have games and activities to reinforce the lesson. The second Sunday, we bring in a lady who does a craft with the kids. Our program has grown; last week, we had eleven children! We’re hoping to use this approach again by purchasing one or more VBS starter kits now available then use them throughout the year.

At this time, I’m writing Vacation Bible School material for Standard Publishing’s 2010 cycle. What’s the theme? I can’t tell you but I will tell you that I’m excited about the 2009 Standard VBS called Studio Go! Based on the theme of a game show environment, this game packed material is great for your more active, kinesthetic learners. I like using games in my teaching so I think it’s a great program.

Also, be watching for my three books published by Rainbow Publishing in 2010., three additions to the “Five Minute Sunday School Activities” series. If you need some quick lessons that take little time to prepare, these are the books for you.

I’m at a point in my life where I am moving away from writing curriculum. Two weeks ago, I attended the Florida Christian Writer’s Conference and had the opportunity to speak with several editors. I’m working on rewriting the first three chapters of a novel to then submit to several agents. I also have some writing to do for several magazines and hope to pitch a book idea on leadership to a publishing company soon.

On a personal note: Heaven has gained a wonderful believer in Christ and we have lost a dear member of our family. My 97-year-old grandfather who was, in many respects, a father figure for me, went to be with the Lord this past week. Our family will be gathering in Arizona for his memorial service, so it may be a couple of weeks before I am able to post to this column again.

Until then, keep teaching the children and continue to let them teach you. And keep the coffe can and tea bags handy!

Easter Activity: Art Exhibit

Have you ever noticed that the creative people who get the most attention in the church are those who can sing, speak or play a musical instrument? What about those Christians who have been gifted with the ability to move their bodies in expressive ways, who sculpt or use paint to glorify their Redeemer? Are they any less “Christian” than the one who can act or sing?

My friend, LeAnne Martin, has opened my eyes to the need to promote art in the church. She has a wonderful blog, Christians in the Arts, that promotes and highlights Christians who dedicate their lives to art and beauty. The local church, particularly Children’s Ministry, needs to provide outlets for those who are gifted in the visual arts.

Because of my own lack in the visual arts, I've come to truly appreciate those who are gifted in the arts. I still remember how a sculpture in an Austrian monestary of Jesus washing the feet of Peter tugged at my heart and taught me a deeper lesson about service. We need to provice those whom God has gifted an outlet to be able to express their faith through their art. In return, the rest of us will blessed as we are drawn to worship God on a new level.

For this reason, our local congregation is holding an art exhibit for Easter. We’ve challenged our members, both children and adults, to think how they might creatively portray their impressions of the Resurrection. We’ve entitled the exhibit, “Reminders of the Resurrection” and we are using 2 Corinthians 5:17 as our key verse.

We’ve invited people to submit paintings, sculpture, photography, poems and essays. We’ll put the works in the church foyer on Easter morning for the rest of the congregation to see and to worship God through the medium of art.

I plan to work with the children the first two Sundays in April. We’ll talk about reminders of the Resurrection so the children will have a concrete understanding of what we are talking about. We’ll help them sketch their ideas on paper, then provide them with watercolors and “good” paper for them to finalize their creation. I’m excited to see what they come up with. I hope, I hope this project works so that our congregation can rejoice in the Resurrection that morning through the music of the choir and through the art work of the children and others.

What are some ways you’ve encouraged worship through the arts in your congregation? Share your comments below or email me at karenawingate@gmail.com. I’ll share your ideas in a future post.

Teaching Children Not To Fear

My reading list this month includes Bill O’Reilly’s book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity. Now, before you label me as one of those screaming fanatical conservatives, hear me through. First of all, O’Reilly labels himself as an independent, one who chooses to be a free thinker. From reading his book, I would certainly agree with that. Also, O’Reilly’s book covers far more than his views on politics. He emphasizes our need to embrace self reliance, independent thinking and hard work.

In one chapter, he discusses our need to overcome fear. Many people don’t progress in life, he says, because of one simple obstacle – fear. Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to walk through our fear, to not allow it to stop us from achieving what we want to accomplish in life.

A generation ago, says a Family Life survey, children were afraid of such things as the dark, strangers, high places and loud noises. Today, says the same report, our kids are afraid of death, divorce, terrorism, war and disease. This second survey was taken around the time of 9/11. I can imagine that, today, children would add something about the economic crisis.

How can we help our children overcome fear? We need to show our children ways to constructively fight back at their fears, to teach them that they are not helpless. As Christian educators, we need to introduce them to the Father who can be depended on to be with them and who will protect them from whatever happens.

One final way we can help our children not be afraid is to look at our own lives, acknowledge our fears and learn to walk through those fears. Look at the lists again. How many of the fears on the most recent list do kids really understand? Divorce, yes. Disease, maybe if they’ve seen it up closes and personal. War? Not in our country. Many of these fears we project onto our kids. We’re afraid. We talk about the uncertainty so our kids pick it up too and parrot our fears. We can help our children overcome fear by determining to not let fear take hold of us.

Recently I attended a conference several states away. I knew no one at this conference. Before I had a breakthrough eye surgery that tripled my vision, I always used Special Assistance when traveling by myself. This time, since I’m not legally blind anymore, I decided I really didn’t have a good reason to ask for it, so I decided to go solo. On the other hand, I have never traveled by myself before. I’m amused at the number of people back home that were surprised that I traveled alone without asking for help to a conference where I knew no one. Some people would be too afraid to be that adventuresome. Why not? The only way that I could achieve the benefits of what turned out to be a wonderful experience was to walk through my fear and not let it stop me. I think Bill O’Reilly would be proud of me.

Our children will learn to overcome fear when they watch us not allow the scary times to overtake us. If we teach them to overcome the fear of falling off a bike by saying after the first fall, “Get back up and try again,” we need to remind ourselves to do the same with our own fears.

Teaching Children Wisdom

Recently, I was teaching a lesson to my Junior church students on the commitment of John the Baptist to forego everything else in order to proclaim the message about the coming Messiah. “How do you put Jesus first?” I asked my group. I was expecting answers like “Be honest when others aren’t,” “Watch movies that aren’t violent or that put Jesus down,” or “Be kind and reach out to other kids who are being left out.”

Instead, my group answered with the three following answers: “Pray,” “Go to Church,” and “Read the Bible.”

I felt frustrated . How could I ask the question so they saw that following Jesus is a 24/7 venture, that our faith is not just some basic rules that allow us to barely slip into Heaven? I probed. “What more do you need to do than just read the Bible?” They stared at me. Finally one child answered tentatively, “Think about what you are reading?” That was a start, at least!

“What about doing what the Bible says?” I asked. “What does the Bible tell us to do?” More blank stares. I gave the answers I listed above. I’m not sure they got it. What’s wrong with these kids that they don’t understand that what we are teaching them is to be applied to their every day life? I wondered. I was more frustrated than ever. But I shouldn’t have been.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Gene, a fellow worker on my mission trip to Austria last spring told me to emphasize the word, “beginning.” Our job as teachers is to move kids beyond the beginning point of wisdom. The beginning of wisdom is knowledge of Jesus. That’s the point my group of students were at. Wisdom is knowing the difference between right and wrong. The greatest form of wisdom, says Gene, is to take what you know and apply it to everyday life.

Teaching children about Jesus is a progression. It doesn’t happen all at once. We first teach who God is, who Jesus is and that we are to honor Him as our Lord. But we don’t stop there, assuming the kids will figure out the rest. We must continue to guide them in gaining wisdom by giving them example after example of how to take what you know and apply it to everyday life.

That’s extra work. That takes some thinking and creativity and lots of prayer for . . . wisdom. Whoever said teaching was easy?

We can’t presume kids will make the connection between knowledge and life application, biblically known as wisdom. Sometimes we have to spell it out, use examples, give them practice in a sheltered environment, patiently remind them and cheer for them when they get it right.

God promises to give wisdom to anyone who asks for it. Start praying now that God will give you wisdom in teaching your children and that He will create a desire within each of your students for the wisdom to know how to apply what you are teaching to their everyday lives.

Teaching Preschoolers: Interview With Brenda Nixon

Last week I shared part of an interview with Brenda Nixon, author of the “Birth to Five” book, a great reference for rearing a preschool child.

Granted, it’s important to start teaching and training a preschool child as early as possible. Some teaching, like potty training or eating habits, is a "Well, duh!" But studies have shown how important it is to give our little ones lots of discovery and exploration time in building their gross and fine motor skills, to introduce them to books and music and art, to give them math based problem solving questions within the scope of play.

But what about their spiritual development? When is a child ready to learn about God – and how much are they ready for? Brenda shares her insights with us this week.

Karen: In your book, you have a chapter on the development of a child’s faith. When should a parent start teaching their child about God?

Brenda: Parents teach from day one! But the "teaching" must be age-appropriate and natural. Just think; when Mom immediately responds to her crying infant with love and nurture. She is already teaching her baby that parents are trustworthy. As the infant ages, and Mom and Dad set rules, boundaries, and limitations on behavior, they're teaching that parents love enough to discipline. When a tot falls down and parents say, "ouwie," they teach empathy. Are these not the qualities of God?

Then, around the age of three - when preschoolers begin to understand concepts like friendship, trust, love, empathy - parents can begin talking about God and how He cares for them in these ways.

Oh, one caution; be careful about too broad of concepts such as sin and redemption, which can still confuse some adults.

Teaching a tot about God isn't limited to reading scripture, teaching a hymn, or telling a Bible story. It's being the parent who expresses relationship with God. Hopefully, we (and I include myself) create a thirst in our kids for relationship with the only Perfect Parent.

Karen: What are some ways parents can incorporate teaching about God into the everyday flow of family life?

Brenda: To answer this question, I'll quote from one chapter in The Birth to Five Book. "As the parent of a tender, impressionable child, you have multiple occasions to teach your child about God. It’s sobering to realize that from birth to 18-years – when he graduates – 85 percent of a child’s waking, learning hours are spent in the home. The home, not the school, is a child’s major class and parents are the first and most important teachers…
Around your home, place visible reminders that testify to your faith in God. I remember the bronze cast of praying hands Mom and Dad had for years in our living room. The well-read family Bible remains on their coffee table today. Now, as a parent, I tape up Bible verses on mirrors, the refrigerator, and even on my car visor. The ones in the car humbly remind me that my children are watching my attitudes towards other drivers. Ask yourself, “Does my home have visual symbols of my faith?”

So, again, you don't have to be perfect to be your child’s spiritual equipper. I also encourage parents to participate in regular church attendance. You want to keep your children surrounded by faith-filled people.

Karen: Since a child can’t see God and preschoolers are concrete thinkers, why should we start teaching them about God? Shouldn’t we wait until they are old enough to understand?

Brenda: Yes and no. How's that for a quick answer? We want to continually and naturally live out and verbally teach our beliefs so children absorb the lessons. If the reverse logic were applied then we wouldn't teach children about concepts such as love or safety until they were in elementary school.

Karen: As you said in your article, “Make Your Child Thirsty...for God,” parents are the primary source of spiritual education. How can a child’s Sunday School or Worship teacher be more helpful in equipping parents or partnering with parents to do this important job?

Brenda: For the Sunday School teacher or children's pastor, I say, remind parents that their participation in church sends a message to their children. It’s a message that they value their community of faith. Church attendance must become a habit of the heart. Encourage parents of your church children to daily teach about our Heavenly Father as commanded in the sixth chapter of Deuteronomy.

Urge parents to weave spiritual lessons into conversations, letters, chores and actions with their kids. Children need to see their parents living out their faith through practices such as; thanking God for nature, reading the Bible, and saying grace before meals. And, of course, I encourage valued teachers to fervently pray for parents and homes today.

Teaching Preschoolers

You need a driver’s license to operate a motor vehicle. But no license is required for guiding another moving object that some parents would vow has more energy than a two-ton pickup – a two year old child. Children don’t come with an operating manual stowed under an arm pit. That’s why books like Brenda Nixon’s “The Birth to Five” book are so hot – and so needed.

I love Brenda’s emphasis, that parents can be empowered to lead and train their children at home from the beginning. If parents poured themselves into teaching and molding their preschoolers, the job of the educator becomes so much easier. Any teacher or children’s ministry worker will tell you that children who come from a stable family where values have been taught and where the parents have done their job in teaching their children about God saves time and energy, decreases discipline problems and creates a more receptive audience.

But many parents feel overwhelmed and unqualified to teach their children whether it’s how to use the potty, how to share toys with a sibling or answering those impossible questions about God a preschooler must stay up at night concocting just to confuse his parents. Usually, all parents have to go on is what they remember from their own childhood. If a child comes from a dysfunctional family background or was the youngest in the family and doesn’t remember their preschool years, they can easily feel like they are floundering. That’s why parent education is just as important as preschool education and why we need books like Brenda’s “Birth To Five.” Book.

Author, speaker and educator Brenda Nixon has dedicated her career to empowering parents. Brenda severed as the parenting expert on FoxTV in Kansas City. “The Birth to Five Book” is her second parenting book. Recently, I caught up with Brenda and asked her about her new book:

Karen: “What led you to write “The Birth To Five” book?”

Brenda: “Years ago I was writing a monthly parenting column for a local paper. Because I was a speaker as well as a writer to parents, I often had audience members come up to me following a presentation asking for help on a variety of childrearing issues. This demand for information led me to give parents words beyond the platform. That's when the idea struck to collect those columns which focused on the early years and put them together in a short, concise book of answers. Since the foundation of the parent/child relationship is laid in the first five years, I believe that's the critical time to empower parents with practical education and encouragement.”

Karen: “What do you love best about preschoolers and their growing awareness of God?”

Brenda: “I love a youngster's innocence and inquisitiveness. Preschoolers are fun, energetic people with lively imaginations so it's fun to be around them, read to them, and engage them in conversation. They accept what adults say as gospel. That's why we must be careful how we phrase explanations about God and our faith. For example, never say "Holy Ghost" when referring to the Holy Spirit, because children link a ghost to something spooky and unfriendly. Many times preschoolers teach me about faith through their simple, steadfast confidence in God.”

Next week, Brenda and I will talk about the importance of teaching preschoolers about God, when to start and what a preschooler needs to know about God.