Nursery Curriculum

One participant at my recent Yes You Can! seminar asked if I could recommend curriculum for the nursery and toddler level child. Here are several curriculum recommendations:

Standard carries curriculum for toddlers as part of their HeartShaper curriculum. Check Standard's website for other nursery level books.

First Look is a web-based curriculum for nursery through 5 year olds.

 Baby Beginnings from GospelLight

Play and Worship from Group Publishing

I love Gospel Light's slogan for their nursery material: "It's never too early to teach children about Jesus."  Research has shown that the first five years of a child's life are the most formative: emotionally, socially, spiritually and intellectual. We don't have to see the church nursery as merely a babysitting service.  Let's make every moment a teachable moment - even in our church nurseries.

Yes You Can!

This past weekend, I was privileged to teach the Yes You Can! teaching ministry seminar to area churches in Western Illinois. It was a fun-filled weekend as we discovered together how God can use our unique gifts to train others how to live the Christian faith.

During the Friday evening and Saturday morning sessions, we discussed what we will learn as we gain experience in teaching, characteristics or our learners, what a gifts-based ministry looks like, and how to construct a leson. We learned from each other as we participated in Bible learning activities and a question and answer time of some of those pesky questions a teacher wants to ask but might be afraid to admit they need to ask.

I'd love to share this seminar with other groups.  If your church is interested in hosting a Yes You Can! Seminar in your area, contact me at www.graceonparade.com/speaker/

Grace Revisited

Several years ago, I wrote a blog about teaching children the concept of grace (see May 29th, 2009). Today, a very shortened version of that story appears in the daily devotional guide, The Upper Room. The editorial staff of the Upper Room kindly invited me to write the blog entry to accompany my devotional. In "Growing in Grace," I tell the story of another teacher who gave me the theological backdrop I needed to intellectually understand grace.

Here is the rest of the rest of the story. Shortly after taking this class, I had an opportunity to tell Dr. Jack Cottrell of the Cincinnati Christian University how thankful I was for his class: that it wasn't merely an attainment of head knowledge; instead, his explanation of grace literally set me free from the bondage of unworthiness I felt from some difficult events in my childhood.

As I told him briefly what those events were, doggonit, the man wouldn't respond to my words of thanks. Instead, he grabbed my forearm and interrupted me.

"Are you all right now?" he asked, concern and compassion tenderizing each word.

I stammered a "yeah, sure I'm ok," hating myself for the lie, and moved on quickly to finish my prepared speech of thanks. I didn't want to cry in front of Dr. Cottrell but his action was another lesson in the life-time course of God's grace. This man, this well-known writer of many books, this scholar of theology was willing to be concerned about me. He wasn't judging me because I had been such a slow learner. He wasn't saying, "What's your problem? What kind of slow learner are you?" He wasn't impatiently tapping his foot, waiting for yet another over-zealous student to finish blathering. He wasn't looking down on me for being a broken human being. Instead, as a gifted teacher, he added precept upon precept.

It was another grace-gift, another illumination of what grace is about. He taught me that as Christ has offered grace to us, we need to offer grace to others. If I can say one more time, in the third venue of the day, our actions and responses teach others the meaning of God's grace.

Giving people more than they deserve is such a foreign concept in our culture. A news commentator I usually highly respect sometimes alludes to 'karma," the concept of people getting their just desserts. No, no, I want to scream at the television. Our job is not to smugly smile when people get a return of justice. Like Jesus, our hearts need to break that they have not been delivered from the same bondage that has entrapped us. Grace is tough to understand. We are not going to "get it" just by reading the Bible. Like Dr. Cottrell and Mrs. Jackson, my third grade teacher, we need to live grace out loud so the people we influence can grow in their understanding of God's grace, acceptance and forgiveness.

Each of us, whether we teach children or not, have the responsibility and opportunity to model grace. Like me, each of us needs repetitive expressions of grace, for each time someone models grace, it acts as one more building block to the structure of my understanding of what God did for me through Jesus at the cross. Even though I have been a Christian for over 40 years, I still need reminders of God's grace - and I need daily practice in exhibiting it to others.

Who in your life needs a gift of grace today? Name a child, a non-believer and a growing Christian to whom you can exhibit grace. Then pray that God will give you a God-nudge when the moment is right to share His message and example of grace with that person.

Say Know To Teaching

"I can't teach!" I've heard that from so many church members when the plea goes forth for more children's ministry workers. Their body language is almost humorous. They actually take a step back. I can envision their hands coming up, as if to push away the plea.

Have you said that? Are you one of those who think you can't teach children?

Let me ask you another question. Do you believe that Jesus' Great Commission to "Go and make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20)" was just for the twelve apostles or for all Christians? Because of the language throughout the rest of the New Testament (look at 2 Timothy 2:2), we can accept those marching orders were for everyone who confesses Christ. But catch the language of the rest of the passage. "Baptizing them." Okay, that means being evangelistic and leading others to the point of salvation which includes baptism. That's what most people think of when they think about the Great Commission. But look at the rest of the verse. Uh oh! " . . .Teaching them to observe all I have commanded you." TEACHING! That means every one of us needs to TEACH younger and newer believers.

Granted, each of us are uniquely gifted to reach one age group better than another. Yet the majority of us have had experience with children through raising our own. Each of us need to be involved in some way in raising up the next generation in the ways of the Lord.

Perhaps the better admission is, "I don't know how to teach. I don't even know what I need to know."

Ah! Now we are on the right track. Let me share with you what you need to know in order to be an effective teacher.

1. KNOW yourself. Know your strengths and gifts. Do what you do best.

2. KNOW your students. Learn about age characteristics and learning styles. Your teaching will be more effective if you pay attention to how they learn best.

3. KNOW your curriculum. How is each lesson organized? Are the activities appropriate for your group? Curriculum is written to meet the needs of a broad audience and cannot possibly fit every situation. What will you need to adapt to fit your group?

4. KNOW your environment. Is your teaching area inviting to today's students? What resources and supplies are available? What technology is available to you? How can you improve your environment to make it more learner-friendly?

5. KNOW your team. Jesus sent his disciples forth two by two. Paul always traveled with an entourage. God expects no one to go it alone. Where you are weak, others are strong. Know the gifts and experience of your other workers. Don't be threatened by what they can do better than you - use it. Remember: your goal is to help children learn about Jesus and you need to do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal.

6. Finally, most importantly, KNOW your God. That sounds almost obvious. Every Christian worker ought to have a personal relationship with Jesus. Sadly, I've seen too many teachers and other Christian workers count on their skills, not their relationship. I would far rather have one teacher dedicated and in love with Jesus Christ who is willing to learn how to be a good teacher than ten competent teachers who are not personally walking the walk. Kids learn more from what you do than what you say.

I probably almost had you hooked and now you are backing off again. Don't be afraid: none of us are perfect, we are all growing. God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7) and the heart is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Stay passionate and desperately in love with Jesus, and stay humble, KNOWING you don't KNOW it all. Students want authenticity. They want to see what Jesus has done for you.

Go! Teach! And Jesus promises tobe with you. Always.

The Little Things

Sometimes - many times - it's the little things that matter.

Ten days ago, my husband went in for outpatient surgery. Today, he is still in the hospital. He came home twice, only to return due to multiple complications. We've felt like we have been in a whirlpool of quicksand that has threatned to suck us under. As a minister, he has been so frustrated because he feels he has left his congregation dangling. My writing files have remained unopened on the computer. There have been days I've done well to do little more than keep my eyes open and my head on straight. Our faith has been tried; our marriage vows to love "for better, for worse" have been tested. So many people have ministered to us and carried us through this difficult time. I've wanted to represent Jesus well but have despaired at times, thinking I've let him down terribly. Right now, neither Jack or I are doing the work we feel God has called us to do.

Today, I stepped over to the church to take our secretary a video file for tomorrow's community Thanksgiving service. I found her and the youth minister discussing their inability to call a mom about a child with an earache. Impulsively, I said, "Let me take care of her. I'll find a couch for her to lie down on and I'll play Mom until the session ends." So I did. We got her to lie on her side, we talked about school, about books, about her. Pretty soon, she said she felt better and ran to join her small group.

It's the little things that count.

I walked over to a volunteer who was talking with a parent. The parent told us how her little boy was learning so much about the Bible. One day, the father, a carpenter, was griping about how difficult and unimportant his job was. The child said, "Well, Dad, I think carpenter do amazing things. After all, look what Noah did!"

You never know what children are picking up, how they are processing what we are teaching them. Our ministry is not just to children - it's to the parents as well.

As I prepared to leave, I grasped her hand. "Tell Mia," I said, "to tell her dad that Jesus was a carpenter too." Her "Ah ha" smile and the light in her eyes was reward enough. In spite of my own overwhelming burdens that siphoned my energy and held captive my time, in spite of my failure to be at my best during a difficult time, God still chose to use me in the small moments.

Proverbs 16:9 says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

Selecting Quality Literature for Children

Several posts back, I reviewed the children's book, "The Creation," by Janice Green. In my review, I spoke about the need for more quality children's books.

In case you missed the comment section, here's one reader's reaction:

"My best introduction to children's books was at the university when I took a class on children's literature. It gave me an overview of what was out there and which authors won awards. But that was 30 years ago. I wonder what that book list would look like today. As a Christian teacher and a parent I would be on the lookout for content in books, new and old. I guard younger children from topics which have values that I don't agree with. I read books myself first. Then with older children I would read and discuss books that presented different values. But the challenge is to find a good quantity of books that promote good values and are good literature."

She gives some wise, practical advice and makes several good points. If less books are available for children, parents and teachers will need to become more diligent in supervising what their children do read. How do you do that?

Read the book first.

Value content above visual impact.

Be discerning about the values the book is teaching.

Shield younger children from questionable values; be willing to discuss those values with older children.

Don't shield older children from books with different values but strive to provide a balance of books with the values you want your children to have.

How do you help your children become discerning of good literature?

My reader continues:"When I was home schooling I learned that reading and copying good writers would help develop the students own reading and writing skills. So, an exercise we did was to have them copy a sentence or two each day from a classic author. This was also good to do with the Bible."

Cream will always rise to the top. That is true of music and books. The best will last so look for books for your kids that have stood the test of time.

Finally, my reader concludes with a commitment that is a worthy challenge for all of us. Pray for those who write children's books. Pray that they will remember who they are writing for, that they will present God's truths and God's ways with excellence and appeal. Pray that the Lord smooth their path to publication so that quality, truth and faith-based books can once again dominate the market.

Children's Ministry Response to Halloween

By now, many of you have already celebrated Halloween or a Halloween alternative in your children's ministry, or you have taken your child trick or treating. Our church hosted over fifty children at a “Neewollah” (Halloween spelled backwards) celebration, a fall festival with a “Trunk and Treat,” a bounce house, a putt putt golf course, face painting and lots of food and oh, yes, candy. As you clean up the decorations and wonder what you’ll do with your leftover candy or as you reflect on the children who passed by your darkened house, perhaps you are asking yourself once again, “What should A Christian’s response be to Halloween?”

Every year, I struggle with how to approach Halloween. Should I treat it as just an innocent holiday of fun or, because others use it for evil, should I have nothing to do with it? For several years, I’ve chosen flight over fight to avoid having to take a stand as I head out for dinner and shopping while kids roam my neighborhood so I don’t have to make a choice. More recently, as I’ve heard how Satan worshipers and others consider October 31st as a high holy day, I’ve swung more to the side of wanting nothing to do with the holiday so I can avoid the appearance of evil altogether.

Jesse Craig, minister at the Valley Christian Church, preached a sermon about Halloween this last Sunday that was the best explanation of how a Christian ought to approach Halloween that I’ve ever heard. With Mr. Craig’s permission, I’d like to share the outline of his sermon.

He based his thoughts on the Scripture text from 1 Corinthians 10:14-33. His thesis was this: we are all one body. How we treat others is what is important. “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial (v. 23).

Instead of asking, “Is this all right for me to do this?” we should ask, “How will this bring glory to God?” and “Am I going to cause someone else to stumble in their faith by participating in this?” Instead of focusing on our own pleasure, focus on God and on others. Sounds like a recipe for life. It applies to our approach to Halloween as well.

His four-point outline taken from 1 Corinthians is this:

1. Don’t do anything that would make your brother - or a child – stumble

2. We are free in Christ. You are fee to make your own choices. So are others. Avoid the temptation of criticizing others for how they choose to handle this difficult situation. Whatever you do, don’t be nasty about others’ choices. See Romans 14:1,2

3. Love other people. Love them in spite of the choices they make, in spite of their stand on Halloween. Use Halloween as an opportunity, not to fear the darkness, not to tolerate the darkness, but to shine brightly in the darkness.

4. Halloween is a great chance to shine for Jesus. Look for opportunities to offer safe and wholesome alternatives. Give your kids options that will enable them to steer them away from the world.

Matthew 5:16 – How are we going to let our light shine? Here are some practical ideas on how we can shine for Jesus at Halloween:

1. Distribute information about your church along with candy.

2. Trick or treating is the one time your kids are allowed to ring doorbells! Have your kids pass out invitations to your church. (I love this one!)

3. Give nickels and dimes to kids instead of candy. (You will probably spend less money!)

4. Play Christian music in the background.

5. Dress up as a bible character as you distribute candy.

6. Have your kids dress up as Bible Characters. Make sure they know who they are so they can tell people who ask and that they can tell a short story about the Bible character.

7. Carve a cross on a pumpkin instead of a scary face. Put a candle in it and tell kids that Jesus is the light of the world.

8. Whether or not you participate in Halloween, pray for the kids who will be on the streets.

(I would like to add to this one. Pray for college kids as well. Often students on secular campuses use Halloween as an excuse to push the envelope in participating in orgies, drunkenness and demonic activities. My daughters who attend a secular university have told me stories of how they hide out in their dorm rooms Halloween weekends so they don't have to be exposed to the lewd behavior. Pray for Christian students to have strength to resist temptation.)

Remember: Halloween offers the Christian yet another opportunity to love others as Christ loves us.

“Be very careful then how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:15,16.

Start planning NOW how you will intentionally shine for Jesus on Halloween, 2012.

Answering God's Call: Part Two

In my last post, I shared how God fulfilled my dream of serving on the foreign mission field by leading me to write children's ministry curriculum. God has not been absent in using me to promote the gospel on the foreign mission field. As I quoted in my earlier post, His ways are not our ways. He sculpts His call to us in the way that will best use our gifts - and weaknesses - that will benefit and accentuate His Kingdom work.

I had heard the story of the mother who wanted to go to the foreign mission field but couldn't. At the end of her life, she felt like she had let her Lord down. Yet it was pointed out to her that all four of her children were serving on the mission field. She had not failed. She had instilled God's word and God's passion for the lost in the hearts of her children.

What a sweet story! But is it real? As I began my own journey into motherhood, I knew the odds of raising four missionaries was slim. So many worldly influences swirl around my children. I am only one of many voices calling them, pulling at them from so many directions.

Then I met Inie McDade.

Inie lived in rural Ohio. After raising her four children "in the fear and knowledge of the Lord," she took in foster kids. She and her husband adopted one of their last foster kids, a special needs child who would never mature past a second grade level. Inie was one of the best grandmas I have ever met. She and Walt had a reputation for being at every sports event, school play and music event in which their grandchildren participated. That was quite an accomplishment considering they had nine grandkids, all close in age. She always took them out for lunch on their birthdays. They would call Inie, sometimes even before they would call their mothers, if they were in trouble. Inie wasn't afraid to tell her grandkids she loved them, she prayed for them and why weren't they in church?

She faithfully took care of their adapted son to the day she died. She and Walt placed him in an independent living home to provide for the day they could no longer care for him but still oversaw his care and brought him home for every family gathering.

None of Inie's children or grandchildren became ministers much less missionaries. Some of them are active in church; some of them are not. Yet Inie poured herself and her faith into the next generation. She was faithful to God's call to pass along her beliefs and values.

As children's ministry workers, our task is not just to tell Bible stories to children. It's not just to teach children to believe in Jesus or to instill a moral code in the hearts of children so they are good citizens and faithful church attenders. Our job is to teach them well enough so they can teach others. Our job is to fill them with a passion to relay the gospel message to those who will be eternally separated from God if they don't hear.

You may work with children in a small church setting. You may have a class of dysfunctional, emotionally wounded children. You may have only two or three children each session. You may have only a couple of grandchildren whom you don't see very often. Like one woman in our current congregation, your job may be to care for one severally challenged special needs child in the public school system. Work with what you have.

Pour everything you've got into those kids. Pray for them. Pray that God will use your efforts to raise up laborers for His fields that are ripe for harvest (John 4:35). It may take years, but God will be faithful. He has a way of taking our small, seemingly unimportant efforts and bringing about great results.

Let Him use you.

Answering God's Call

Over this past weekend, God gave me another glimpse into understanding His character. He has a way of crumbling my preconceived ideas about Him that reminds me all too well of the verse from Isaiah 55:8: "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord." The next verse reminds me that His ways are higher, better and more magnificent than mine. If He orchestrated life my way, my life would be so two-dimensional, so flat line. Instead, He adds a fullness and a depth to my life that I never dreamed could possibly happen.

That happened this weekend.

When I was 21, I committed my life to the foreign mission field. I figured the first step in reaching foreign soil was to attain Bible college training through the graduate school of Cincinnati Christian University. After one year, I met my future husband who had absolutely no interest in foreign missions and who persuaded me that America was a plenty big mission field. After much soul searching, I realized I was pursuing missions with wrong motivations. So I said yes to Jack's proposal of marriage.

I thought I had misunderstood God's calling. Maybe He was testing my willingness to go wherever He wanted me to go. Maybe foreign missions was just the bait to head my stubborn will in the right direction. Jack was right. My life as a minister's wife and as a children's ministry worker has certainly been full and rewarding. Still, an inner part of me longed for the foreign mission field. In some ways, I felt like I had let God down.

This weekend, I discovered God had never let go of the idea of my involvement with foreign missions. When I answered His call, He basically said. "All right. Let's get you ready. You ARE fit for the mission field. I've got a very special job for you that will utilize your unique gifts. It's going to take awhile so let's start developing those gifts."

Soon after we were married, God opened the door for me to write children's curriculum, something I had dreamed of doing for years. I just wanted to write Sunday School material for Standard Publishing; twenty years later, my resume documented Sunday School, VBS and Jr. Church materials. In 2004, the Salvation Army asked me to write several books of curriculum designed to reach inner-city kids who knew nothing about Jesus, material stripped of middle class American culture references, and, because it was targeted to inner-city kids, material that would require a minimum of supplies. How they chose me to write this material makes me still shake my head with disbelief.

In the spring of 2012, Rainbow Publishing will produce my three books in their Five Minute Sunday School Activities line. These books devote two pages to each of 42 lessons; one, a simple lesson plan, the second page, a simple activity that again, uses a minimum of preparation and supplies.

Fast forward to this past weekend when our church held its annual Faith Promise rally. As I sat at lunch with our two visiting missionary couples, one man said, "Karen, tell us what books you have written." As I explained about my work with the Salvation Army and Rainbow Publishing, they leaned forward. "This is exactly what we've been looking for," both exclaimed. They explained how they have longed for children's curriculum that didn't use a lot of specialized supplies unavailable in their countries, easy for missionaries to teach and translate for indigenous workers and material stripped of American culture jargon. I spent an hour the next day, explaining the philosophy and scope of the two different curriculums. They left loaded with author's copies, website addresses and publishing information.

See what God has done? My curriculum material is headed for Sri Lanka and the Philippines! Placed in the hands of local workers, my curriculum will reach far more children than I could ever reach had I personally gone to either Sri Lanka or the Philippines. God is using my gifts of teaching and writing to reach the world with the gospel story - without ever leaving my desk.

When we say yes to God's leading, we must be willing to let Him use us as He deems best. We need to let Him draw the road map of how we get from where we are to where we want to be. He knows us so much better than we know ourselves. It's true not just in answering the call to foreign missions or the ministry. No matter what job you accept in His kingdom, God takes the raw materials of who you are and does totally awesome things for the glory of His Kingdom in ways that are beyond our awareness or comprehension.

We just have to be willing. We just have to say yes. Then we just have to hang on for the ride and watch what He can do with us.

I hope to share yet another dimension to this story in a future post.

Rescuing Children At Risk

As I've worked Inside The Classroom in children's ministry, there have been certain children who have tried my patience to the point of wanting to quit. Rebellious, uncooperative, inattentive, disruptive, violent, insecure, underachieving. I admit, I've wanted to take them by the shoulders and shake the bad behavior out of them, saying, "What's wrong with you? Snap out of it!"

Then I hear tales of their home life and the hard core of resentment melts like paraffin on a warm summer day. No wonder they act like they do! Ornery troublemakers move on to become rebellious teenagers who then turn into angry, dysfunctional adults who bequeath their dysfunction to the next generation. Can the cycle ever be broken? Can we turn around kids who are neglected, abused orphans through the choice of their parents?

Yes we can! I had the privilege to interview three separate faith based children's homes who told me countless stories of turnaround. Not only have a large majority of children in these homes found faith in Christ; they've moved on to become productive members of society, raising solid and secure families of their own.

This week, check out my article, "Rescuing Children At Risk" in the Christian Standard to find out more on how these work with the government to rescue the neediest members of society and how your church can reach out as well.

In the meantime, don't give up on those most difficult children. We are called as children's ministry workers to proclaim the gospel to the lost and hurting. These are the very children we are supposed to reach with the gospel message. The children who always behave, who always have the right answers, who are the first to volunteer - they remind me of what Jesus said in Matthew 9:12: "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." The emotionally hurting child desperately needs the message of hope you have to share.

This week, choose a disruptive child in your class. Pray for strength and wisdom. Then determine to love that child to Jesus. When you do, that child will discover there is another way to live.

Book Review: The Creation

When my two daughters were anticipating their first year of public school, Reader's Digest asked Barbara Bush, a supporter of national literacy, how parents could best help their children learn to read and to love reading. Mrs.' Bush's answer? "Read, read, read."

It was great advice. Yet, as a parent, I found it a struggle to find new books that presented the values I wanted my children to possess. Where were today's version of the Arch books and the Happy Day books of my childhood? As years went by and as my freelance writing business grew, I noticed the availability of books for young readers diminishing.

Granted, it is costly to produce a full color book. Still, we need books for children. We need good books. We need books that tell in fresh ways the captivating stories of the Bible, of history makers, books that promote appreciation for God's world and biblical values that will guide their lives. We need books that families can read together, talk about together and books that will provide a stepping stone to building family togetherness.

That's what I like about Janice Green's book, "The Creation." Janice retells the creation story in a simple yet accurate way. At the end of each daily account, she uses questions that draw the child into the story. Finally, the best part, she provides a family activity I don't think I've ever seen suggested in a book for children. Yet it is a terrific idea, one that can involve Mom, Grandma, aunts, sisters and grandma-friends. I'm not telling you what it is - you'll have to read the book yourself! You can find "The Creation" on Amazon.

Yes, getting a children's book published is next to impossible. I still believe we need more children's books. If you are interested in writing value-packed books for children, hone your skills, make your book idea the very very best it can be, don't settle for anything less than excellence, have the humility to ask for feedback and advice (and follow it - egos don't survive well in the publishing industry), read LOTS of what is already out there, be creative, innovative and original, pray, and finally,

Teaching Children About Death

The two most difficult topics for parents and teachers to discuss with children are sex and death. For some odd reason, the church often steers away from these two crucial life topics. letting parents or schools handle the tough questions. As Craig Groeschell notes about sex in his book Weird: When Normal Isn't Working, we turn the topic of death over to complete strangers where children will find lots of misinformation. The church is the best place to teach children the truth about death.

As parents and children's ministry workers, let's have the courage to talk to our kids about death. In fact, let's not wait until someone close dies before we give them the information they need to cope. Here are some ways you can equip the children in your life to face death with courage and peace.

1. Have animals in your home and inside the classroom. Pets teach children so many lessons about birth, life, sickness, relationships and death. While children see death on tv and in their video games, it becomes surreal. Our society has created a sterile environment, shrouding death in a coded language. Few of us have actually seen someone die. There's nothing like having a small gerbil die in their hands or seeing a goldfish float belly up in a murky fish bowl that teaches a child, yes, death is real. It's a hard lesson but one that will take away their view of invincible life.

2. Take your children to a funeral of someone they don't know well. When my husband was a minister to an older congregation in rural Kansas, we had lots of funerals so I realized it was important to prepare my girls for the time a church friend might pass away. The church building setup was perfect. The nursery with a built in intercom had a glass window that looked out onto the sanctuary. The girls could play with freedom but would frequently press their noses to the window and ask questions about the funeral. I told them what was happening but didn't insist they keep watching or that they be quiet. When my older daughter's school bus driver died, my daughter knew what to expect and how to behave at his funeral.

3. At an appropriate time, when your child is ready or if you foresee your family may have to deal with this issue sooner rather than later, arrange to have a private viewing of the body of someone they don't know. Let your children take the lead. Don't press them to touch the body but don't exclude them from it either. Give them the freedom to ask questions; answer honestly at their age level.

4. Use the death of church members as an opportunity to teach about service to others. Have younger children draw pictures and make cards; involve older children in setting up chairs and tables for a funeral dinner. If a funeral is not on a school day, you can involve children as young as sixth grade in helping to serve at a funeral dinner. Your family can work together to bake cookies to take to a bereaved family.

5. Teach the truth. To me, Easter is a crucial Sunday. No way do I want to cancel children's church that Sunday! What a prime opportunity to share with children the hope we have through Jesus Christ. This is a platinum opportunity to talk about the reality of heaven and what Jesus had to do to make eternity with God possible. Use Easter - and every other chance where a lesson lends itself to this topic - to drive home the truth that, for the Christian, there is a hope of heaven for those who believe in Christ Jesus and we don't have to be afraid of death anymore.

Praying For Our Schools

Today is "See You At the Pole" Day, a student oriented movement to motivate students, teachers, parents and community members to pray for our public and private schools and the children who attend them.

We need to pray for our kids. If you missed a "See You At The Pole" event this morning, or want to continue praying for the schools and children within your sphere of influence or concern, here are some prayer points you can use:

Thank God for schools, opportunity for education and all the resources we have available.

Help kids use opportunities wisely.

Pray for protection - physical, emotional and spiritual.

Pray for protection against school bullies.

Pray that the Lord help students:

Make new friends and strengthen old friendships
Choose friends wisely.
Stand up for truth, shine for Jesus
Tell the difference between & wrong- give strength to do right.
Be kind to teachers and classmates.
Be "good helpers."
Know they can turn to God for help any time, anywhere.

Help teachers, parents, and administrators:

Make wise decisions in what and how they teach.
Have wisdom and Creativity in administering both discipline and compassion.
Shine for Jesus so even without a word, they will proclaim Christ.

It's tough being a kid in today's culture. May the Lord help all of us support our kids by showing interest in their school activities, strengthening their faith, and listening to them in their struggles.

For more information on the See You At The Pole movement, check out www.syatp.org.

How to Comfort a Bereaved Child

Thanks to the Ministry To Children website, I found a resource that will help me this week in dealing with a family who have lost a beloved grandma. I hope it is a help to you as well.

How to Comfort a Bereaved Child

Next week, I'll share some more ideas on how you can help a child deal with death and funerals before they occur.

In Praise of Parenting

As I grow older and less connected with children, I fervently hope I can stay sweet, kind and approachable to the kids I encounter. I want to show interest in them. I want them to know I value them, I'm interested in them, that they aren't an annoyance to me. I get so mad when I catch myself becoming grouchy at their noisy presence at restaurants.

Deep down, I understand how tough it is to be a kid trapped in a restaurant booth. You can't run around. You are trapped between your mom and a wall. The food doesn't taste like Mom's and somehow, you aren't sure how, the rules changed and you're liable to break one without knowing. You act out to get attention and to test to see if the rules still apply and you're confused as to why everyone thinks you're cute - except mom and dad.

So I guess I'm not really upset at the kids even when the two year old across the aisle yells intermittently just to hear herself yell or when the three year old boy bounces on the seat behind me making my already tired head spin and my pre-arthritic joints ache. I get most upset at the parents and their disciplining efforts - or lack thereof. I wonder why Dad doesn't do anything about the screaming two year old or what the four year old boy did so wrong that Mom threatens to take away his toys when they get home, a threat I'd be willing to bet dessert on that she doesn't keep.

"Why can't you behave?" she finally demands.

Um, ma'am, have you defined for him what "behave" means?

I do feel compassion for the parents. They are probably eating out because they are tired and don't want to cook. I remember my days as a parent of little ones. I had these pipe dreams of so longing for a nice evening out with the family. I felt so pinned in with my kids at times that I just wanted one evening away from the house where everyone was happy - then wondered why nobody was happy.

Still, I hear moms making threats they fail to carry out and don't hear dads take an active role so often that I began to despair about the parents of today. Does anyone know parenting skills anymore? What is this generation coming to anyway? Are we going to raise an entire generation of out of control hoodlums? My, my. I am turning into a cranky old biddy.

Then I sat at a table with a young family at our church's midweek meal and my faith in the parents of today returned. While Mom held the baby, Dad took charge of the four year old. He initiated getting the boy to take bites of his salad. He cut up a boy size helping of lasagna into small bites. He praised the boy for trying the new food and wasn't overbearing when the boy wiggled on his chair.

As the boy's attention wandered, dad redirected him back to his plate. Dad was consistent, even handed, calm and attentive. It was a pleasant time for all of us at the table because Dad was willing to get involved.

I so want to find that dad and tell him, "Good job. You are doing a great job, Dad. You are acting like the head of the household ought to act. You're involved with your kids. You're taking the initiative to make sure that little boy does what is right but you're keeping in mind what he is able to do at his age level and not expecting too much out of him. Keep up the good work, Dad."

It's tough to be a parent in today's world. All of us who have been parents know all too well that none of us were perfect in our parenting. We do the best we can and pray hard that our mistakes didn't cause too much lasting damage or that too many people were watching. A little bit of praise and encouragement sure did help us lift our shoulder higher and try again.

Do you know any parents who could use a pat on the back? I think I found mine.

How To Lead A Child To Christ

The goal of every children's ministry worker is to see the children they teach come to an acceptance of Christ as their Savior. Yet, when the moment comes, I've seen many teachers balk, afraid they don't know enough or they might miss something. They call their pastor, letting him "finish the job."

The goal of every pastor and church leader is to equip church members to be able to do this important work! As I've expressed often in this blog, my guiding verse is 2 Timothy 2:2: "And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others." You can lead a child to Christ. Here's how:

When I talk to a child about salvation, I use a combination of what is known as "The Four Spiritual Laws" and "The Five Finger Exercise." Kids are great at spitting back what they've heard all their lives. It's important that you get beneath the surface with them, that you discover their motives for wanting to accept Christ and that they believe with their heart that Jesus is the Son of God. So, after I've explained each step, I ask the child, "Are you ready for this?" It's amazing to me that, if children aren't ready, they will at one point back down, and say, "No I'm not ready."
Let's go through the steps.

1) Believe. I ask the child, "Who is Jesus? What did he come to do? Why did Jesus die? How do you know this?" I explain that belief means we accept these facts are true. I cover the first three steps of the Four Spiritual Laws:

• God has a wonderful plan for your life.




• Man turned against God by his sin.




• God loved man so much he was willing to sacrifice His Son so He could regain a relationship with man.
  

All this is in termsthe child can understand. Then I ask, "Do you believe that Jesus is God's Son and He died for you so you could go to Heaven?" If the answer is "yes," we move on.

2) Repent. I define repentance by walking one way then turning around and walking the other way. Repentance means we are willing to admit we have done wrong, we are willing to stop doing wrong, and we are willing to start obeying God and living life His way.

I ask the child, "What have you done wrong? Are you sorry you did those things? Do you do things that God doesn't like?" This is a hard but crucial step. Some children have a hard time admitting they have done anything wrong. If they can't admit they have sinned, it's best not to press them and wait until they are ready. You haven't failed. You are planting seeds that show them what is needed. The Holy Spirit will begin to do His job of convicting them of their sin.

3) Confess. Confessing is not just telling a church congregation you want to accept Christ. Confession means you are willing to show other people you believe in Christ, that you will stand up for Christ, that you can admit to others that you are a Christian, even when it may be unpopular to do so.

I ask, "Would you be willing to tell your friends and other people that you love Jesus? Who would you like to tell? Are you willing to show you believe in Jesus by doing what He says?" Again, the answer to this question is crucial. If the child says yes, go to step 4.

4) Be baptized. I realize baptism by immersion is controversial. Baptism as a crucial part of salvation is not merely my opinion. I go by what Scripture says. I invite you to check out such passages as Acts 2:38, Romans 6:4, I Peter 3:21 and the stories of the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8 and the Philippians jailer in Acts 16.

I explain that baptism is a symbol of what is happening inside us. When we are baptized, we show other people that we are willing to "die" to the old way we used to live and become a new person, a person who loves God and wants to commit the rest of our lives to following what God says. At this point, we show the child the baptistry, and explain how someone is baptized. We ask if the child has any questions about baptism and how it's done. Finally we ask, "Are you ready to be baptized?" If the child says no, we assure them that they can tell us when they are ready at any time.

5) Live the Christian life by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is more a point of reassurance. I tell the child that sometimes it will be hard to do what Jesus wants them to do. But God has provided a helper called the Holy Spirit. Any time, they don't know what to do or they find it hard to obey God, they can ask for God's help. When they become a Christian, I tell them, God will always be with them and He will show them how to live the way He wants them to live.

Sharing Jesus becomes addictive. Once you've experienced the thrill of leading a child or anyone for that matter to an acceptance of the transformational gift Christ offers, you will want to do it again and again and again. I can't wait to hear your stories!

The Role of Prayer in Children's Ministry

“'If you never ask, the answer is always no.'”

So starts an excellent article written by Steve May in his Monday Memo blog from his website, About Sunday. Steve continues:

"The person who made this statement recently was talking to marketers about closing the sale. It got my attention because it also applies to our prayer life.

"James said, 'You do not have because you do not ask God.'” (James 4:2)

"More and more I see asklessness as the root of our problems. James also said that we don’t receive sometimes because we ask with the wrong motives … but I’m convinced that the first part of the equation is a bigger problem for a good many of us.

"The best way to solve this problem is with a pen, a paper, and some time spent in solitude.

"Write down the things in your life that you have been dealing with on your own, that you have (inexplicably) neglected to pray about, and make a decision to bring these matters before the throne once a day until they’re resolved.

"You and I both know from history that it works. Why then we go through seasons of asklessness is a mystery for the ages."

So, let me ask you, children's ministry worker, what do you want to see happen in your children's ministry department in the next year? Parents and grandparents, how do you want to see your children and grandchildren grow in their faith in God over the next year?

Now my next question:

Have you prayed about it?

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him (Psalm 34:8)."

Class Divisions in the Smaller Church

One kindergarten student. One first grader who comes only occasionally. Then there is one fourth grader. Two fifth graders. One sixth grader and two eighth graders.

You look at your fingers on which you've been tallying the roster of children attending your Sunday School, then glance in despair at the curriculum catalogue in front of you. How can you follow the guidelines of the curriculum with this hodge-podge of kids? Your heart breaks for that first grader. No wonder she comes so seldom. Every time she comes, you put her in with the fourth, fifth and sixth grade kids and her inability to read and use a pair of scissors slows everyone down.

What class divisions should a small church use?

Some promote the multi-age classroom. One room schoolhouses did it successfully all the time a century ago; why can't the small church too?

We don't really know how successful the one-room schoolhouse was. Schools and parents did it out of necessity for the same reasons a small church must group kids together - not enough children and not enough teachers. You do what you must do, making it work the best you can. If you must have a one room approach, here is how you can make your teaching more effective:

Use older students as helpers. Older children can set out snack, take younger children to the bathroom or perform skits with you.

Use the learning center approach. Younger children can do an art project while older students do Bible research. You can help the younger children while the older children work independently or you can have a helper/apprentice work with the younger children while you work with the older children.

Choose activities that appeal to all ages. I've watched kids of all ages enjoy such activities as singing, carving pumpkins, dying Easter eggs and blowing bubbles. Older kids enjoy adding more complex details to the activities they loved when they were younger.

Think outside the box. I like the age divisions Rosann Englebretson and Marlene LaFever suggest for small churches in their book, "Reach Everyone You Teach," published by College Press.

Birth through two year olds - Toddlers and Twos
Three through six year olds - Pre-K and First Grade
Seven to ten year olds - Second through Fifth Grade
Middle/High Schoolers

Your first graders will feel like big kids with the little ones and won't have to struggle with the daunting task of reading like they would if they were with the older kids. Likewise, your sixth graders will enjoy being part of the youth group. Most schools across the nation are putting sixth graders with the seventh and eighth graders; why shouldn't the church? As your church grows, the group I would divide first are your Middle School and High School group.

Regardless of age classification, identify the unique needs of the children that attend your church. Let go of what you've "always done" or the way "everyone else does it;" instead, sculpt your classes to meet the learning needs of the children you serve. Your desire to meet their needs and give them the personal attention they crave and deserve will in the long run be far more effective.

Helping Children Weather the Storms of Church Conflict

Several times over the course of our ministry, my husband and I have witnessed church members argue or gossip about church issues in front of an open classroom door. Those times have left marks on our hearts like unwanted tattoos, for we know how such talk can leave even greater destruction in the spiritual future of the children who overhear the harsh, ugly talk.

Church conflict is never pleasant for anyone. In the case of when a minister is forced to leave, the conflict can set a church back for decades. I know more than a handful of people who have a minimal faith in Christ, but steer clear of associating with a church because they observed upheaval in their childhood church at an impressionable age.

Church conflict, while destructive and inevitable because church members are still sinful human beings learning how to set their minds on things above, can be minimized if a congregation is willing to follow the pattern of the Scriptures. When church conflict occurs, the church must be united on at least this important front - to protect the faith of the children. Here's how you can do it:

1. Shield the children from gossip and disagreements. So many times, I've seen adults talk about church problems in front of a classroom of children as if the children are deaf. Other times, I've heard volunteers explode in anger at each other in the middle of a class session. Children hear and understand more than we think. Our negative talk about people they hold as role models infuses their spirits with negative emotions they are ill equipped to handle. They may then lash out at those adults, not even understanding why.

Absolutely avoid talking about church problems in front of children. if someone does start to gossip or vent, have the courage to say, “Please don’t talk about this in front of the children.” According to Jesus’ directives in Matthew 18:15-17, church conflict should be kept as self contained as possible. It is more essential to secure the long-term faith of your children than to keep the short term peace with another adult by remaining silent or getting sucked into a destructive conversation.

2. Pray for discernment and wisdom. If the children do hear or do need to know that a volunteer or minister is leaving, pray to know what to say, how much to say, and for discernment of how the church conflict is affecting your child. God will give you wisdom (James 1:5,6).

3. Be honest if the conflict blows into public knowledge or your children are directly impacted. When my husband was summarily dismissed from one congregation, our girls couldn’t help overhearing the angry hurt voices of the over twenty people who streamed through our house during the next week. We decided it was better for them to hear the truth from us rather than a one-sided story from others. We also coached them on how to handle comments from schoolmates and church people they encountered around town.

Honesty, however, is giving a full picture, the positive as well as the negative. In each conversation, we tried to leave the girls with feelings of compassion for others, hope for the church and faith in our future. At your child’s level, share how you see God working through the conflict. My girls were awed when we told them an e-mail listserv representing another denomination was praying for our family.

4. Be objective. I struggled against spewing my own feelings in front of my daughters. While I needed to be open about the situation, I realized I had to distinguish between the facts and my opinions. I also needed to follow Paul’s advice not to allow “unwholesome talk” to come out of my mouth, but only what would build others up (Ephesians 4:29). That included encouraging my children and building others up in their sight. I learned through Colossians 4:6 to speak graciously about the people who had hurt us.

5. Use the conflict to teach spiritual truths. This is a prime opportunity to teach children about forgiveness, anger management, faithfulness to God no matter what the cost, and about spiritual warfare.

Several days after the dismissal from our church, my older daughter flared at the situation. “How could the church leaders do this to us?” I told her about the concept of spiritual warfare found in Ephesians 6:11. “Satan does not want the church to succeed and grow. He will do anything he can to thwart growth and destroy congregations. It’s our job, through Christ, to not let him get the best of us.” I knew my words had struck home when, several hours later, she designed a computer-generated graphic of Ephesians 6:11 and quietly hung it on the refrigerator. Months later, when she overheard two woman arguing before a church meeting, she whispered to me, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood . . .”

How serious is this? Church upheaval, with a few misguided conversations, can shipwreck a lifetime of teaching. As children's ministry workers, we're not merely teaching bible stories to our children. We're not just teaching ethical standards. We are teaching them about the transformational power of Jesus Christ to save and change lives. We teach by verbally sharing that message and by living it.

Think of a heat t-shirt transfer. Just as the heat of the iron softens the glue and makes the transfer adhere to the fabric, the trials of church conflict offer you the opportunity to make the message of the gospel stick to the spirits of the children you teach. Make it real, make it objective, share your confidence that in spite of all, God is over all.

Storytelling for Preschoolers

"Tell me another story!" The four-year-old boy before me bounced on the balls of his feet.

I lay my stuffed dog I had dubbed as Ulfilas in my lap. My goodness, I didn't think my Early Church historical story about Ulfilas the Goth who brought Christianity to the Germanic tribes in the fourth century A.D. was that exciting. I love the early stories of how passionate Christians through the power of God spread the gospel from the epicenters of Rome and Jerusalem. I remember sitting on the edge of my seat in Early Church History, listening to Dr. James North of the Cincinnati Christian University make history come alive through his vivid retelling of historical accounts. But was I crazy? Telling early church history to a four-year-old? Venturing where angels fear to tread, I plunged into my favorite, the story of St. Patrick, escaped slave who returned to his homeland of Ireland to evangelize his own people.

My enthralled listener begged again, "Tell me another story."

Preschoolers are a tough group of children to teach. The older I get, the more exhausted I feel. Their nonstop energy and their short attention span demand constant teacher attention. Sadly, I've seen too many preschool Sunday School classes and worship hours turn into glorified babysitting services because, let's face it, you have to have planned a different activity for every five minutes of class time. Also, teachers are unsure how much this age can learn since they aren't old enough to read.

Yet, my impromptu story time reminded me how this age group loves a good story. Storytelling is something anyone can do. Know your story well enough to not have to look at the Bible, put a bit of dramatic excitement in your voice, add a few sound effects, and you are in business. If ad libbing isn't your style, your local Christian bookstore sells inexpensive paperback bible story books you can use for talking points.

You don't have to wait for Sunday morning and you don't have to be an official teacher either. My student was a boy I babysat in the church nursery while his mother attended a funeral. Another time, I regaled a child with a story in a restaurant where a number of church members gathered for lunch after worship services and his grandmother looked on in grateful relief. Anyone can engage a child with a story, whether you are a teacher, a parent, a grandparent, a babysitter or a fellow customer in a line at Wal-mart.

You don't have to know a lot of stories. Choose three or four stories that are your favorites. I am known for my retelling of Naaman the Leper (2 Kings 5:1-18) and the Woman with a little bit of oil (2 Kings 4:1-7). Those two stories are my trademarks. What are yours? Choose your personal favorite stories then practice them until you can tell them well. Go into your bathroom, close the door and practice the stories in front of the mirror. True confession: another way I've practiced is to wait till the family is out of the house, then I've practice my stories in front of the dog. Being a Welsh Corgi, she is notorious for cocking her head at anything I say. If I can get through my story without giggling at her, I've got it nailed.

Finally, you don't always have to use stories from the Bible to share your Christian faith with a child. I gather stories from church history. I've told my girls stories that show our family's Christian heritage like the story about Great -Grandma traveling from Ohio to Arizona in 1920 on a train with four small children and a sick husband, fearing she would be a widow by the time she reached that strange land. I can hardly wait to tell my grandchildren about the time when my four year old daughter prayed for a sale on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and God answered her prayer in a significant way.

Recently I heard a Holocaust survivor say, "You should put as much in your head as you can because they can't take away from you what is in your head." If you fill your head with the great stories of the Bible and of your Christian heritage, you will have that with you always. When you give a child a story, you do not lose it; instead, you find it again and it becomes more embedded in your mind.

As Paul told Timothy regarding his preaching, "Be prepared in season and out of season." (2 Timothy 4:2). When you have ready-to-serve Bible based stories in your head, you become a teacher in a mobile classroom, for your storybook is with you wherever you go, ready and available to build up and teach the next generation.