Monday, May 07, 2007

Dependency

Thank you to all who showed concern for our family over the last few months as we have faced two separate eye muscle surgeries for my daughter and my husband. Jack is recovering well. He obtained new glasses only five days after surgery. Before surgery, he was at the upper limits of prescribed prisms. Our optometrist hoped he could knock down the prism from a 19 to a 4. Jack’s new glasses have no prism at all. God is so good!

We’re still waiting on the final results of Christine’s eye muscle surgery. Her surgery was a little more complex so she must wait and heal a little longer before she is refracted for new lenses. We’ll know more possibly by the end of May.

As Jack was recovering from surgery, I admit that he and I have struggled with dependency issues. It’s difficult to admit the need for help. It’s difficult to admit that we might not be capable of helping ourselves and it’s a greater struggle to let people help us when we may not need it, but it sure would make life easier. It’s also difficult to perceive people’s needs, to help while still respecting their need to be in control. As Jack and I confronted these unfamiliar roadblocks, we didn’t always handle our requests for help or our offers of help in the best of ways.

We want our children to grow up into independent adults. Yet I think we could learn a lesson from our children about dependency. They don’t beat around the bush about expressing their needs. They don’t get hung up with the image problem that adults face that we might look weak or stupid if we acknowledged we need help. Conversely, I’ve seen children with hearts that overflow with compassion for those in need. There’s Kyle who would sit and talk for hours with his grandpa who was bedridden for four weeks after a motorcycle accident crushed his leg. There’s Katherine who sat and held the hand of the newly bereaved widow during the entire funeral dinner. Any teacher who says the magic words, “I need some helpers” will be almost knocked down by a class of eager children willing to help. Children have the humility to admit they need help and the open arm gift of grace to help someone else. Maybe this is one more area where Jesus perceived that we need to become like little children.

2 comments:

LeAnne Benfield Martin said...

Karen,

Wow! Great insights here. Thanks for giving me something to chew on today.

LeAnne

Crystal Warren Miller said...

Here's a cyber hug from me to you today. You have helped me on so many fronts. I often depend on you. And I hope you can depend on me for prayers, too.

I think the best thing you do is pray for other people. Since my mother is dead, I miss her praying for me the most. I so appreciate your prayers--and letting me pray for all of you, too.

By the way, I love donuts, too, because it reminds me of mom (since we're so close to Mother's Day.) Yum!